When It's Hard to Give

The past weeks have been a roller-coaster ride for us. My eldest son fell off the bed and sustained a fracture in his right humerus. It was a real nightmare for a mom to see her son in excruciating pain. It was nothing but heartbreaking.

Through those trying times, I can't remember an hour without me talking silently to God about my son's pain, asking Him to comfort him, heal him, and guide the doctors fixing his broken arm. And I praise Him that He has indeed been with us all throughout.

The day came when his doctors ordered for discharge. We did not have money; how can we go home? But I did not worry a bit about that. I was already full of anguish with my son's situation that the lack of our finances seemed so minute. I'd been to the extreme of emotional distress that the fact that we did not have money to pay the hospital did not scare me anymore. I was calm while asking friends to lend us money and by God's grace, we were able to come up with the needed amount for the hospital bill. His orthopedic surgeon also agreed to get only half of his fee and the other half be given during my son's followup checkup.

We were able to go home.

Fast forward after 1 week. My husband's and my salary came, but off they went to pay our debts and bills. Worry set in me this time, but God is good for leading me still to his truth. One Saturday morning, I was picking a channel for my sons to watch, when I chanced upon TV 5's Word of God  Network program.

The sermon was about giving. It humbled and challenged me at the same time.

Reflecting on our own situation, I gained these perspectives.


ON WORRYING

Here's a mama who worried a lot. I worried a lot, but Jesus said in Matthew 6:27, "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" If we read the succeeding verses, Jesus further elaborated how God clothes the grass that so easily withers, so how much more is His love for us, who are more precious than the grass! We just need to stop playing small and increase our faith in Him.

Also resurrected in my heart is my favorite verse back in my teenage years. It said "And my God will meet your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." 

He already sent us friends to lend us money and some even just gave money without expecting anything in return. We are receivers of His provision. Knowing this, we become givers in return. 

ON GENEROSITY

In 2nd Corinthians 9:6-7, it said: Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

I knew I was a reluctant giver. I would give, yet my heart was not happy. My heart was complaining and tired, and God disliked it. I pondered about it and thought that perhaps God just allowed all these things to happen to us so I would somehow realize that I should share our blessings with a glad heart, not the opposite. This way, blessings from above come to us. Indeed, the more you give, the more you receive is a Biblical truth.

ON TITHING

You know, when I was counting the cash from my salary and started budgeting, I was very tempted not to separate my tithes and pledges... because, well, we're really short of cash. 

But no, not good. According to Malachi 3:9-11, "You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing me, the whole nation of you! Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this," says the Lord of hosts, "if  I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows."

Proverbs 3: 9-10 also says, "Honor the Lord with your possessions, And with the firstfruits of all your increase; So your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will overflow with new wine."

Isn't it wonderfully awesome to have a God like this? These words just erase every bit of worry in me and clearly instructs us what to do regarding our finances.

When it's hard to give, read His promises.

Scented Yarns by Buffy Looney Looms

In 2013, I found myself hooked in crochet, pun intended. I hoarded yarns, bought crochet patterns from Etsy and even built an online crochet store. Fortunately, it was due to a customer who made bulk custom orders for his photography studio, that I put my yarn-and-crochet investment into good and profitable use.

My passion for crochet started during my first pregnancy, when I thought I was having a baby girl and fancied on making crochet dresses, shoes and headbands to doll her up. So cute and adorable! Only to find out later on that it was a boy. Nevertheless, the hours I spent watching YouTube crochet tutorials were not in vain and I still consider this a wise investment. Those cute, girly crochet stuff that I imagined to make turned into character hats for my boys.

However, I stopped crochet when life got terribly busy and I pursued other things. That was the time when I felt too tired to make crochet for custom orders (aka pressured and stressed out--I lost my love for the craft.)

Years passed without me thinking of doing this hobby again, but after seeing some of my friends' posts about their crochet projects, my hands felt envious, haha! Something in me was reignited!

So I visited the Facebook page of my go-to yarn store, Yarn Source Manila, and found a link to Buffy Sibayan's account, whom was advertised by Yarn Source as their partner. She has good feedback from her customers that lured me to ordering from her and even referred a friend to order. Ms. Buffy was very accommodating and understanding even when I wasn't able to pay for my lot immediately.

I got this lot for Php350 plus Php165 for the shipping fee via LBC. This consists of 6 sampler yarns weighing 280-300 grams. Not bad for me. It's okay to shell out a few to start doing again something that you have a passion for. At least now, I know how to control myself and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't fall to yarn hoarding again.

It took me several days to get my parcel because my son was hospitalized. A friend of mine took it for me, and when I received it, alright, I proved that everyone of her customers was saying the truth!

The yarns were scented and smelling heavenly! I still have to ask her what perfume did she use, but well, I think this is my first time to smell it and I'm happy for that. It's time to make good memories while crocheting so to associate it with this scent.

There were freebies too. If my projects would be amigurumi or some keychains, they'd all be very useful. I love how Ms. Buffy thought about this.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to think of what crochet projects will I make. Whatever they are, I'm sure I'm going to do them in a way that is relaxed and passion-driven, not rushed and money-oriented like it used to be.